Let’s Get Lyrical #5 – Sisqó

For those people who are in Edinburgh (would that this included me) the Let’s Get Lyrical team and the Scottish Poetry Library are organising a flashmob tomorrow (Tuesday 25th) – if you’re around, head along to St Giles cathedral for 1pm to join in a rousing rendition of A Man’s A Man in honour of Burns Night.

Meanwhile here on the internet, this week I’ll mostly be sharing my thoughts on a few choice lyrics that appeared during the last decade – or the noughties, as some people apparently called it.  Nobody knows who they were, though.  To kick us off, 2000 was the year we were properly introduced to the lyrical genius of Sisqo.  ‘Ah yes,’ I hear you smile, ‘who could forget the multi faceted poetical odyssey that was Thong Song?’  Apparently it has featured in Glee, so even the youth of today will be able to relate.

This thing right here

(I believe he is referring to the song he is about to sing)

Is lettin’ all the ladies know
What guys talk about
You know
The finer things in life
Hahaha – check it out

Finer things, you say?  You mean like cigars and brandy?  Perhaps a game of chess in a leather-bound library with an open fire?

Ooh dat dress so scandalous
And ya know another nigga couldn’t handle it
See ya shakin that thang like who’s da ish
With a look in ya eye so devilish

Oh.  Maybe he wasn’t thinking of cigars and brandy after all.

Ya like to dance at all the hip hop spots
And ya cruise to the crews like connect da dots
Not just urban she likes the pop
Cuz she was livin la vida loca

She sounds fun.

She had dumps like a truck truck truck

Is this a reference to the lady’s habits regarding the WC?  That seems in poor taste, to me.
Thighs like what what what

Well, what?  They’re worthier of note, than the average thigh – why?  What are they like?  Geese?
Baby move your butt butt butt

Rude.  A simple ‘excuse me’ would have sufficed.

Uh
I think to sing it again –
She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
All night long
Let me see that thong.

You have to hand it to the man, it takes a special level of concentration / empty headedness to be able to spend an entire night looking at one thong.  Obviously I do not condone this type of behaviour as it objectifies the woman, her ‘dumps’, and even her undercrackers.  But at the same time, he’s very focussed.

I like it when the beat goes da na da na

Aw.  Bless.  It is nice when the beat goes da na da na.
Baby make your booty go da na da na
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na
That thong th-thong thong thong

Hm.  Really though?  This is beginning to sound like a date rape defense from a True Movie.  “But judge, she totally wanted to show her da na da na!  I could tell on account of the fact I stared at her arse for an entire evening and when she stood in a certain way I was able to detect the outline of her thong.  A THONG, your honour, the underwear of the consensual partner.”

He then repeats all of the above in a slightly different order, almost as though trying to convince himself that his actions are OK.  The lady doth protest too much, Mr Qó?